Transmuting Trauma: Understanding Narcissism Worldwide so we can Thrive

I generally like to focus on straight- forward health information on this blog. However, our modern society has become so afflicted by something that has spilled well into our collective consciousness and livelihood that it needs to be addressed. My recent understanding is that political and social turmoil both seem to stem from a common culprit– something called narcissism.  Do you ever wonder how governments could possibly have the capacity to commit such violent atrocities as the ones we are seeing today? This pathology is largely what allows politicians and others to make such inhumane decisions. People are able to pull off such terrible feats with the “help” of narcissism, otherwise known as  a lack of empathy and disregard for others; this conundrum is what we will examine in today’s post.

Narcisstic Personality Disorder can also be thought of as a sort of energy vampirism. While just about anyone can have some narcissistic traits at times, the generalized, predatory character differs. People with this condition seek out those who tend toward generosity and self- sacrifice by nature. For anyone who isn’t familiar with this concept, narcissism is a disorder wherein a person has no true concern for others, yet thrive off of other people’s energy. This attention can be either negative or positive. These people have been said by one self- proclaimed narcissist, Sam Vaknin, to view others as 3D objects put there for their own entertainment. As some in the field assert, narcissists tend not to generate their own creativity or energy, but rather base their lives on deriving something called “narcissistic supply” from others.  Narcissists are generally exploitative and grandiose with an inflated sense of self. This may or may not be clearly recognizable. Quick ways they achieve this “supply” might be insulting you outright or underhandedly, being the loud one at a party or in class, or gossiping incessantly. These characters need control, attention, and to feel superior in any way they can. It’s important to keep in mind that we can all slip up and make mistakes, hurting others at times. The difference with these people Is their inability to ever admit that, and if they do, it is likely to be  a counselor they may have been dragged to see or the like. These are markedly disinterested in the affairs or plights of others, unless they directly affect or benefits them in some way. The simplest way to define their behavior is reaction- seeking, whether positive or negative. You might observe this in a coworker, friend or maybe even a family member. Often times though, these tricksters are able to fly under the radar, taxing kind people’s energy unbeknownst to them. I know this might be hard to believe, but stick with me; I see this as being the major issue plaguing our society on a mass and interpersonal scale, more than any other underlying issue I have seen.

A series of surprising situations followed by plenty of research have led me to this conclusion, and I feel moved to share it with you. Narcissists can be skilled at what they do. They learn to adapt to their deficit of empathy. Empathy is what humanizes us, rendering us capable of compassion and real love, genuine interactions. Often though, these folks come off as very cool and collected, they seem incredibly confident and are commonly the life of the party. This can attract unhealed empathetic or codependent people who feel destabilized by the chaotic energy they tend to absorb from the world. Narcissists learn to develop a pseudo- empathy to blend in with the rest of the crowd and go undetected. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Anyone who has read the Bible might recall the parable of the wheat and the tares. I personally believe this type might be what Jesus was referring to. Fortunately though, there are always warning signs (otherwise known as red flags) which can be identified.

An example of this pathology can be seen in politics. We can all relate to deception and betrayal by our governments who do what they wish for greed’s sake and under the guise of good will. One example is when George Bush claimed that Iraq had WMDs, only for us to later find that this was not the case, once we’d already began invading the country. Our tax dollars are still being used there for the purpose of what many point to oil being the motivating force for, while our rights are taken away in the name of “security” with things like the noble-sounding Patriot Act. Such an inflated sense of self and heinous disregard for the surrounding world is becoming more obvious than ever with the Trump regime. Throughout history, though, we have been kept in a state of shock and awe. A brilliant documentary about this fact can be found here. This way, we are kept compliant, following the government’s lead in an endless search for terror, which is ever moving, expanding (or at least that’s what they tell us) and impossible to truly contain. Though sadly, due to the government’s persuasive justifications, some may never even question this approach. This habit of lying about the obvious truth and flip- flopping are signature moves of the psychopath (or narcissist), known in the psychology world as gaslighting: saying one thing and doing another, often causing the target to question their own sanity or intuition and conform to the seemingly smarter, more powerful or more important narcissist. Therefore, people keep supporting the businesses behind these acts, perpetuating the very situation that keeps them in a state of fear and oppression.

Many of us feel on edge with the events that have ensued militarily and otherwise, nobody knows what will happen next. This is a common symptom and red flag of narcissistic abuse, and we are experiencing it on a mass scale. Unpredictability and waiting for the other shoe to drop is a classic effect of trauma. Fear is never the answer though; rather it is the weapon that the enemy actively uses to paralyze us. Instead, we must employ curiosity to identify the cause of our problem and find a solution.

We often can’t take what news correspondents and politicians say at face value. We also need to tune into how we feel. It’s important to be aware of what you are dealing with any time you might be an unknowing source of energy to an entity that is profiting off of you while you suffer unnecessarily. Such  vampirism can be likened to a physical parasite which lives off of a host’s nutrients. A similar example might be a company unknowingly profiting off of your demise. Walmart, for instance, makes profit off of their employees’ deaths via taking out life insurance policies against them (R).  Something more close to home might be a friend mocking you behind your back or maybe even right next to you without you realizing it. All of these things have the potential to rob us of our vital life force and should not be tolerated if we want to live healthfully.

You may be asking yourself how any portion of humanity can be so cold. This is made possible by the narcissist living in the reptilian part of their brain. This kind of existence focuses on the four F’s: fight, flight, fawn and fornicate. This explains the behaviors that narcissists’ lives seem to revolve around; you may notice that this is what we are primed to focus on by the media, especially confrontation and hypersexualization.

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Narcissists are “wired” somewhat differently, there is even neurological proof of this (R). This particular group is estimated to make up 15% of the population give or take, though this is likely a shy estimation due to their inability to introspect. Therefore, they never address this or try to get help and go undiagnosed. Even if they do get help, they are often able to fool their counselor or therapist. This happens in couples therapy which can be more damaging to the victim than it is healing, if a narcissist is involved. The narcissist can only pretend to have a wider range of emotions, though. Instead of feeling sorry or happy for another person, they are merely concerned with their impression of empathy and how to fool and manipulate another person in the big picture. I know this all may seem unfathomable and shocking. However, it is vital for us to know that this type of person exists in order to live optimally. If this kind of toxic behavior goes unnoticed or ignored, the victim will often wind up sick, depressed, anxious or with a terrible disease like cancer or auto-immunity (R).

Sadly, a victim of narcissistic abuse gets more vulnerable with each “infection”, so one heartbreak or devastation might be followed by varying versions of the same situation until one heals their own deep-rooted wounds. This can be remedied by learning to develop boundaries and raise your standards to a level that makes you thrive (rather than what makes the so- called energy vampire thrive). You have to be willing to know yourself in order to be immune to this very covert type of spiritual warfare. Yes, from my personal experience and education, I believe that narcissism is a legitimate way that evil makes its way into our lives and tries to prevent us from becoming the people we are put here to be. Though this is only a delay tactic that indicates we are here for a purpose.

Often, when we lay down boundaries with this kind of personality and start to say no to things that we know aren’t best for us, backlash is experienced. This is when a narcissist’s smear campaign starts. They may gossip, yell, try to ruin your reputation, other more subliminal types of manipulation, or worse. These repercussions may sound scary to those of you who think you might be in this kind of relationship dynamic, but if you are able to get out with your sense of self intact, you have truly won. This is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for the world. Once we disengage, the entire sociopathic power structure crumbles. Interestingly, it seems that all sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists pull from the same playbook. This is acknowledged worldwide on forums and by psychologists; the consistencies and similarities are truly uncanny. You just have to know what to look for and trust yourself.

In order for a Narcissist or sociopath’s methods to work, they need you to be in a state of fear, confusion and/ or powerlessness. Our society has been plagued by the virus of narcissism and a marked lack of empathy for one another. It is worth noting that those affected by some kind narcissist or cluster B personality in their life often begin expressing some of the same symptoms. Experts in the field call this sort of contagion a case of the narcissistic “fleas”. Furthermore we are subliminally encouraged by our society and the media to hate, to insult, and to compete. This creates a society of narcissists who will continue to buy products and are solely focused on persona and appearance versus genuity. So narcissism is our proverbial illness and if we want to get better we may need to take a bitter medicine. We may even have to cut some people out of our lives. Take heart, as this will have a major positive impact on the whole, as what we do in our personal lives will inevitably and directly affect the world at large. For those who suspect they might be in this kind of relationship, do not use this term outright to call out the potential narcissist, for it is their nature to point the finger right back at you and you will likely walk away bewildered, believing you are the one with the problem. Our ability to self- assess is a positive trait though, those with empathy can heal by looking within, whereas the narcissist by definition is not able to. This renders them stuck in their diagnosis– despite their false promises to change and improve when you contemplate leaving. This tactic, called hoovering, is important for us to remember; defined as attempts to suck the target back in by using pretend remorse and appearing to change just long enough for the target to let their guard back down. Hopefully this information can wake some of you up who are holding out false hope for someone who will never change, yet will always have you believing they are about to.

If you have any vulnerabilities from a traumatic childhood or a collective traumatic event, you are more likely to fall prey to these predators. Suffice it to say that given the world we live in, every one of us has trauma in one way or another. Narcissists know exactly how to seek out others who are very empathetic, who have holes in their energy field or aura, or those who are going through a challenging time. They groom their targets to ensure they will be faithful sources of supply, often telling sob stories and displaying fake generosity to get the person to trust them and become “hooked”. The narcissist and the wounded empath or codependent are attracted to one another like magnets. This is an important process to understand, but takes many forms. Truly the best way to know is by following your gut instinct and watching for a pattern, which is always the same: a sweet/ mean cycle of initial flattery and excessive admiration, attention, or grandiose promises followed by blatant or subtle devaluation through withdrawing, insulting, passive aggressivity and/ or gossiping behind your back. I can’t reiterate enough how vital it is to get in touch with your inner truth detector, develop a feel for how different characters, thoughts and statements leave you feeling physically and emotionally. If you want to be free from this kind of social and psychological entrapment you have to listen to YOUR inner being instead of falling prey to what others want. Drugs and alcohol dull or silence this inner knowing which we were gifted with. This means that if you want to get well and be at your best, one must rid the toxic people, places and things out of your life. Otherwise, how can your body and mind ever learn to discern what is good for it? The more we allow and condone toxicity, the more we become numb to it and will inevitably begin to embody toxic traits ourselves over time. If this were to be done on a collective scale, it would lead to disastrous reprucussions. Without empathy, we would not survive as a species, except for perhaps as a more robotic type of human, which is becoming a thing by the way. Truly, transhumanism is very much trending (R) and the media and corporations are perpetuating it (R).

The solution for dealing with psychopathy, sociopathy and narcissism is the same interpersonally as it is on a societal level: no contact. Disengage. Unfortunately, the only way those with no true empathy can learn is through your absence. As long as you are present, they manipulate. Because of this, you may not only need to let go of the narcissist but also those they surround themselves with, as friends in common are often used to influence the target. The term for these people who side with and defend the toxic person is “flying monkeys” if you wish to learn more. This is necessary for us to learn if we wish to keep ourselves intact. We can’t rush to save these people, despite the knee- jerk reaction to do so. We each have a valuable lesson to learn and a gift to share with the world. Unfortunately narcissists get in the way of this because it always has to be all about them. This is a learned defense from childhood or can be genetic, it is all they know or will ever know. They may promise great things but the truth is they are experts at dangling a carrot in front of their targets eternally, only to eat the carrot themselves once the target has become fully exhausted. Don’t fall for the small series of distractions that add up to complete and often subliminal control over your life as well as your mental and emotional state. Don’t be so foolish as to believe you have the power to withstand this and change the person, as the only thing that does is enable cruel and harmful behavior in the world. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this needs to be said.

On the more worldly scale, once we decide to stand up for ourselves and optimize our own personal lives by saying no to narcissism and careless greed, such entities will have nothing to thrive on. Mal-intentioned corporations will no longer be able to afford the materials they use to poison us with using air (R), water (R), and pharmaceuticals. Reclaiming your power in this case can be as simple as not giving money to corrupt multi-national corporations in the first place. These are the same entities who own most of the big box groceries you choose to buy from Safeway, Albertsons or Fred Meyer with your hard earned money. Take the time to get out of your comfort zone and go to a farm  and buy food from somebody who isn’t actively ruining your environment.  In this day and age, there’s really no excuse not to shop responsibly, even without a farm nearby anyone can order responsibly produced products regardless of where you live, thanks to the internet. Though we have been primed to believe that it’s easier to support these criminal entities such as Monsanto who’s attempting to patent all of the world’s seeds and genetically modify them so that they cannot reproduce. It can be just as affordable to shop responsibly. Furthermore, who do you work for? If its a seemingly cruel company that you disdain, you are adding to our problem. Its a crucial time for us to decide what kind of world we want and make it happen with our actions.

What matters most for those who care to do in order protect the earth and our collective sanity, is to deprive offenders of their source of “supply”, be it money, publicity, or energy, whether positive or negative. Listen to what your heart and soul is telling you, do only what feels best and what naturally inspires you. Be creative and express yourself. Follow the divine flow of intuition, that is how we create the world we want and feel amazingly empowered while doing it. Don’t allow anyone to discourage or discredit the light that shines within you. I believe a world is possible where we can thrive together, freely using our gifts and talents to help each other in a way that feels natural and leaves everyone with a conscience feeling deeply enriched, not because we get praise or recognition but because we enjoy the act of doing it. We can use our powers of empathy to make this world a better and more hospitable place.

Please feel free to leave comments below about your experience with this topic.

 

4 thoughts on “Transmuting Trauma: Understanding Narcissism Worldwide so we can Thrive

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good read.
    I appreciate the tie in with companies and the attention brought to the reader as to where do they work.
    Although it would be lovely to pick our own produce within 50 mi. Radius, it’s probably impossible for most.
    I’m finally seeking divorce from narc, who has not broken me.

    Like

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